LP2: Preparing for the worst…

24 08 2011

So, Little Pea 1 was a tricky time and I think I’m still trying to work out the impact it has had on me. Very easy for a bloke to just bottle it up and file it under “DO NOT OPEN.”

Writing the previous blog about LP1 was quite hard as I didn’t want to go into too much detail on the emotional side (that will follow in another entry). It was quite hard writing about it so I’m obviously still effected.

So without further ado, LP2.

When I found out that my wife was pregnant again it was a joyous occasion if not a tiny bit subdued.

The moment had been tainted a bit because of LP1’s surprise disappearing act. I was reluctant to tell anyone about the pregnancy as I did not want to have to go through telling everyone again that it was back to square one.

I think it would be safe to say that we were quite negative thinking the worst would just happen again.

And it did.

LP2 only got to 5.5 weeks but fortunately did not hang around for long after that, miscarrying at around 7 weeks.

There’s not really much to add other than it still hurt and probably just as much. Seeing my wife yet again go through the same turmoil knowing there is nothing I can really do other than to be there is sickening.

I hate that feeling of helplessness, feeling like a spare part. It’s soul-destroying.

But this time around we were a tiny bit more prepared.

Just like a roller coaster.

Once that first down is out-of-the-way your senses become that bit more prepared and it’s not as scary.

I used to love roller coasters but the novelty was wearing thin.

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