Down, down and home…

28 09 2011

We arrived back in the UK with a thump on Sunday after an amazing holiday in the Maldives.

It’s an amazing place and I thoroughly recommend it to anyone.

It was LP3’s first holiday, just a shame he could not see what we saw!

Swimming with Manta Rays, Turtles and all manner of fish.

We even saw about 24 dolphins on our last day swimming past out bungalow, a beautiful sight.

But in a strange way we are hoping LP3 will see a bit of this as we’ve decided on a theme for the nursery.


What started with a really nice fish mobile bought in the hotel has turned into the idea of replicating what we saw whilst snorkelling in the Maldives.

Now I’m no Leonardo so I’m thinking that any imagery will be stickers or wallpaper, so if you have any ideas, just let me know.

So even though it’s always a bit depressing coming home after a holiday, we are lucky in that we have a lot to look forward to.


Up, up and away…

10 09 2011

Well it’s almost time to scoot off on holiday.

We are lucky enough to be going to the Maldives but in a weird way we need to thank LP1, whose due date was today and LP2.

The money that we had been saving for having a baby has been used to pay for the holiday.

Naughty I know but after the year we’ve had and feeling quite drained, we just thought it had to be done.

This holiday will be our last ‘big’ holiday for probably the next 30 years by which time I’ll probably be bed ridden.

So sod it.

It will also be my wife’s 30th birthday so more cause for celebration.

Plenty of new starts to think about while the Indian Ocean gently caresses our toes.


Middle lane drivers…

4 09 2011

I don’t get it.

Why do people feel the necessity to drive in the middle land when the inside lane is free?

There’s nothing worse than driving up the lane and having to do a 3 lane drift, overtake and then another 3 lane drift when the person in the middle lane is completely oblivious to what is going on.

To top it off is when they look at you as if you’re in the wrong!

As per the use of indicators, I think it yet again highlights how people just get wrapped up in their own little selfish world.

Wake up people and be a bit more courteous and considerate to your fellow drivers.

Confusing I suppose. Can be translated as "Feel free to sit in the middle lane."

The 10 things I’ve learned about miscarriages…

3 09 2011

Well hopefully we are through the thick of things and my wife’s tension is slowly dissipating.

So I thought I’d start putting down a few more experiences through the whole miscarriage period, starting with a list of things I’ve learned.

Bear in mind that I did not read much about it. A certain degree of ignorance is bliss if you like, so hopefully my experiences may help anyone reading this post. Bear in mind we’ve been through two miscarriages so I still consider myself lucky.

1. Miscarriages are very common – 1 in 4 (ish). These odds do not reduce if you have a miscarriage, they effectively reset every time.

2. You’re not alone. As I soon found out, a lot of family, friends and colleagues had gone through exactly what I’d been through. Sometimes it’s tough to find out who, but when you and if they / you are ok about it, just talk about it because it does help.

3. No one really knows why a ‘typical’ miscarriages happen. There are plenty of theories out there but no one answer. It made me very frustrated because all I wanted to know was why, so I could learn to do something to avoid it. In most cases you can’t.

4. Physical vs. Emotional experiences. You will both experience the emotional side but as a bloke, and this might sound obvious, you do not go through the physical side. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that. Be prepared to have no understanding of what your partner is going through. Be prepared to take a lot of flak, abuse, tears, hugs etc. At times all you can do is take it and be there ready to take more when necessary.

5. Support each other. Leading on from above, just make sure you are there for each other through thick and thin. It’s not a fun time, it could well be the worst experience of your life but you will be stronger for it.

6. Hold on tight, it’s a rollercoaster. As you may have seen in previous posts, I’ve mentioned the constant ups and downs you go through and on one can really prepare for what happens and how it will effect them.

7. Try and be as positive as you can. Sometimes when everything around you is falling to ruins, try to keep positive. Sometimes it just keeps you sane. It’s easy to slip into pessimism (I’m that way inclined) but you will both feed off that feeling. Don’t let negativity take over. My wife thought that our 3rd attempt was destined to be a miscarriage right up to our first scan. Women can be wrong!

8. Don’t forget you. It’s easy to run about like a headless chicken making sure your partner has everything they want, when they want it. You support them, you wipe up their tears, you speak to her family because she can’t face up to it, you go back to work to forget things and so on. These things can and will creep up on you. For me it was shopping in Sainsbury’s.

9. In most cases, you will get pregnant. Of course there is a small percentage of people who do have something wrong and with science getting better and better, that percentage gets smaller. But try to remain positive. I know people who have gone through experiences far, far worse than me through years of pain but have still had a baby.

10. Things do get better. As with any grieving process, time is the greatest healer even if you think that rubbish at the time. There’s nothing worse when you feel really down to have someone tell you “Don’t worry it will get better.” Just grin and bear it.

I think there is a degree of negativity and secrecy surrounding miscarriages. But like death, the more people accept it as a fact of life, the more people prepare for what lies ahead.

There is no magic solution to miscarriage.

There is no perfect process to follow.

There is no guaranteed result.

If there was, I’d just link a book that gives you all the answers.

But don’t forget that no matter what happens you started the whole process as two people in love.

Hopefully one day people will not have to go through it but in the mean time, I hope the 10 things I’ve learned can help you in some way.


2 09 2011

Well it turns out that with great relief that everything is hunky-dory in the world of LP3.

We had a scan placing him at 9 weeks and 5 days and everything is progressing normally.

But holy Batman, what an experience.

When the image came up on the scan, LP3 was kicking his legs like Karate Kid.

Arms are just ‘buds’ at the moment but I’m sure they will be chopping wood before we know it.

It was also the first opportunity we had to listen to the heartbeat and what a moment.

I think it was the first time it really dawned on me that there’s a baby brewing inside my wife.

At 172 bpm it’s all within normal limits.

I like that word right now. Normal.


LP3 had kicked out plenty of space to grow into.


1 09 2011

We have a 10 week scan later today to check on LP3’s progress which will hopefully give us a good amount of reassurance before we go on holiday.

This will be done privately rather than the NHS and I think is about £100.

My wife is not experiencing all the usual symptoms that pregnant women get at this stage of the pregnancy so it only naturally raises questions, hence the desire to keep tabs on what is going on.

I’m trying to remain positive about everything but there is always that little amount of worry that you cannot get rid of because my experience has been tainted twice already.

Every little bit of reassurance helps to dissolve that worry.

Hopefully the good news will continue…