The FFF brigade…

9 12 2011

I love my job.

It gives me the opportunity to try to understand consumer behaviour.

A very dark and strange place in which I like to immerse.

When I brief a creative department, I need paint a picture of the target audience.

Who they are, what they do, where they live.

Taking this and various observations about them into consideration, I can then develop an insight.

Case in point:

Target Audience – 55+ AB males, living in the South East. High Net Worth Individuals who have money to invest in art and antiquities. Probably drive a 5 series BMW, E-Class Mercedes or an Audi A6. They enjoy eating out especially in London and are purveyors of all things quality. They are perfectly polite in other people’s company, but when talking to ‘staff’ they can be quite demeaning and belittling. They know someone called Quentin or Tarquin. Think “Tim, nice but dim.”

Insight – Their lifestyle has led them to become “Fat Fingered F*cks” incapable of using phones

I’m plagued by calls to a well-known auction house.

My direct phone number is pretty much the same but with two digits the other way around.

A typical call will go along something like this:

“Good Morning, Paul speaking”

“Can you put me through to Quentin.”

“Sorry, could you repeat the name please?”

“Quentin. In clocks. I need to speak to him.”

“I’m sorry I think you have the wrong number, nobody of that name…”

“…I dialled the number correctly. Can you put me through to someone who does know him.”

“I can’t do that I’m afraid.”

“Why not?”

“You dialled the wrong number and come through to a wrong company.”

“Well I dialled the correct number.”

“May I suggest you didn’t?”

“But I need to speak to Quentin.”

“We have no one of that name working at <insert company name>. We are a marketing agency.”



“So how do I get in contact with Quentin in Clocks?”



Suddenly identity theft becomes an attractive proposition.

Anyone fancy a 15th century clock for Christmas?

Hello?..... Is it Quentin you're looking for? Sorry Lionel, wrong number.




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