May the force be with you. Just not with my wife…

24 05 2012

I was conned.

Conned into marriage.

“If and when you propose to me, I promise to watch Star Wars.”

I’m ashamed to say that this promise was not kept.

She has no interest in keeping that promise.

As you may have guessed, Abi has never watched Star Wars.

It’s got to a point where she is trying to prove a point.

I find this lack of enthusiasm, disturbing.

So, there are rules that as far as I’m concerned she must follow:

  • At no point can she sing the theme tune or any related tune (she was happily whistling the Imperial March in the kitchen yesterday evening, tut tut)
  • No putting any form of vocal enhancement to your mouth and doing Vader impressions (Lord Vader to you Abi)
  • You cannot, I repeat, cannot use any part of the script as a quote in day-to-day life
  • Further to the above you cannot even make clever references to the script e.g. May the 4th be with you, these are not the doughnuts you are looking for and so on
  • You cannot engage in any form of lightsaber activity
  • You cannot even hint at making light saber noises
  • If you find yourself driving in the snow at night, you cannot pretend you have jumped into hyperspace
  • Wearing a hoodie does not give you permission to act out any scene with Obi-Wan
  • If someone tries to engage in some witty Star Wars repartee, you must bow you head and say “I apologise, I have not watched Star Wars so cannot enter into a conversation with you”
  • In general, no fun that could be deemed related to Star Wars can ever be had

Feel free to send me / suggest any additional rules you think I should include.

I’ll update the list as and when suggestions come through.

Soon JJ will understand.

I, am your father.

Chewy and Han realise omitting windscreen wipers from the Falcon’s spec was a mistake.

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6 responses

24 05 2012
Anonymous

can’t you FORCE her to watch? geddit?

24 05 2012
Frankwell

I wish I could. I presume you have watched it too, allowing you to make that joke? 😉

24 05 2012
The wife

No, because I have a well known tendency to fall asleep in all films!

24 05 2012
Frankwell

Now you are just insulting Star Wars by implying you’d just fall asleep whilst watching it.

24 05 2012
Nick

Your last point is a difficult rule to follow as everything in life has a connection to Star Wars, does it not?

24 05 2012
Frankwell

It does indeed, good point. Looks like Abi will have no more fun for the rest of her life. It is, her destiny…

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