The poo machine…

18 04 2013

Poor JJ.

Poor, poor JJ.

He struggles now and again with his poo.

Part of his routine is to sit and hunch over, looking like a little Buddha with his little fat belly, grab his left foot, grimace and then growl like a dog.

It can be quite funny.

I do feel sorry for him, especially when he goes through a little pain and all I can do is laugh as he looks to me with a pained expression that simply shouts “why?”

Must stop that.

So I’m sure it was with great delight, JJ had his revenge last night.

There I was giving him a bath when he sat down and got into said routine.

I panicked.

All I could say was “no Joshie, don’t poo in the bath,” as if he understood me.

Unfortunately mission control had already started the countdown.

I quickly lifted him up and was going to sit him on the toilet.

It was too late.

The pressure of his squeeze had squashed a little nugget on to the non-slip mat in the bath.

It moved with the water like an angry sea anemone.

But there wasn’t much fortunately.

And it didn’t sting (me).

I cleaned him down then took him up to go to bed.

In the process of drying him, I let him wander free in his room while I got his bed ready.

I turned my back for one second and then all I could hear was “nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.”

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!”

The bathtime incident was the calm before the storm.

I dashed over and picked him up off the carpet just as a little brown head appeared from his bottom.

Quickly turning him onto his tummy I grabbed his towel, pretended I was England’s wicket keeper and waited for this brown trout to leap out in its bid for freedom.

I didn’t have to wait long.

The thing shot out at a rate of knots.

How it managed to fit inside JJ I have no idea.

And don’t talk about girth.

It still brings a tear to my eye.

No wonder he was in a bit of pain.

I would have been proud of that little beastie.

Putting the towel down beside me I cleaned him up again and his mood turned to one of delight.

But the next thing I knew, Wifey was in the room wondering what the fuss was about and without realising she almost stepped in the poo.

I think she was about 1cm away from having something squelch between her toes.

Crisis averted, wild brown trout released back into the wild, we put JJ to bed.

He slept like a log that night.

Next time I’ll give him a wooden spoon to bite down on.

Little wise JJ. Image courtesy of http://www.thedudeofthehouse.com/

Little wise JJ. Rub his belly and guess what comes out.Image courtesy of http://www.thedudeofthehouse.com/

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3 responses

18 04 2013
Alastair

Slept like a “log” hahaha

Glad he got rid of it ;-D

18 04 2013
Frankwell

haha you spotted it – thought it might have been too subtle!

18 04 2013
Alastair

😀

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