The world’s longest poo…

19 06 2013

Don’t worry, no imagery to accompany this one.

Some of you have read about my experiences of JJ’s poo.

It’s not clever.

It’s not hard.

Well rarely anyway.

I was working from home yesterday and JJ decided early on in the day he needed a poo.

So at about 0745hrs I was greeted with a “Nnnnnnnggggggggggggg.”

Nothing unusual there.

I checked his nappy to discover a little skid.

Something a gnat would have been proud of.

So off comes the nappy.

0812hrs – “Nnnnnnnggggggggggggg” – A fly’s skid.

0856hrs – “Nnnnnnnggggggggggggg” – A sparrow’s skid

0921hrs – “Nnnnnnnggggggggggggg” – A rat’s skid, and a couple of small nuggety treats.

You get the picture (or hopefully not).

This progressed through the day with no real sign of his bowels moving properly.

Just lots of progressively longer skids.

You know those inkblot tests that psychologists use?

The Rorschach test.

Well you could have used JJ’s nappies.

A butterfly.

A dog.

The Turin Shroud.

Anyway, I digress.

Every so often I was treated to more nuggets and found myself spurring him on to produce bigger ones.

Cranking his little legs like an old fashioned bilge pump.

It wasn’t until about 1830hrs and after plenty of red faces and tears that we hit a seam.

Brown gold.

His demeanour changed instantly as he worked out the remnants.

Poor little thing.

And like a father taking a dead goldfish to its watery grave I visited the toilet with this little brown minnow.

Bon voyage.

It took nearly 10 hours to have that poo.

Surely a record?




3 responses

19 06 2013

I am impressed. Poo stories are awesome.

29 08 2013

Those were the days…poor little guy indeed. You’ve given me my good belly laugh for the day. Cheers.

30 08 2013

Glad I could help! 🙂

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