The book of everything…

27 08 2013

Becoming a parent has taught me that there are thousands of sources of supposedly correct advice for all your children’s needs.

A veritable minefield to navigate.

This advice manifests itself as books, family, friends, colleagues, government and random people in Sainsbury’s.

Some of it’s right and of course, some of it’s wrong.

But how do you filter out the nonsense?

Where should you look to find the right answers?

I take great solace in knowing one simple fact.

If there was a correct way to do things, there would be one reference book with all the answers.

One book that all new parents would be issued with on the birth of their child.

On receiving it the midwife would say “read this and you’ll be fine.”

The book of everything.

But I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

It does not exist.

I checked.

That’s why there is a claustrophobic fog of advice and guidance out there.

And that advice and guidance wants you to part with lots of money.

Being a parent is like embarking on a non-stop series of lab experiments.

It’s about looking at the background, setting up a hypothesis, drawing up your own method, observing the experiment, drawing up the results and a conclusion.

For example:

Background – There is a multitude of ways that you should feed your baby but what is the right way? Read a zillion books with different opinions to find out.

Hypothesis – Joshua will enjoy baby led weaning.

Method – Give him a multitude of food in various shapes, sizes, tastes, hot and cold.

Observation – Although he likes baby led weaning and using his hands, he has become adept at creating missiles from said food. Ensure subject is distant enough from painted surfaces and that preventive measures are undertaken to avoid “I’ve had enough” and resulting redecoration of lab.

Results – Noted a degree of skepticism surrounding red pepper and a preference for raisins and corn-on-the-cob.

Conclusion – Surprise surprise, Joshua likes food.

Once you crack on and experiment, you can begin to create your own perfect guide to being a parent book.

Remember, humans have been doing this for a while now and we are still going strong.

The experiment seems to be going well. So far...

The experiment seems to be going well. So far…

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5 responses

27 08 2013
Alastair

Just remember … when he gets older, he will deny ever having liked this food. And when he is a teenager, unless it is something and chips, then it is not good for you 😉

27 08 2013
Frankwell

Sounds very much like the voice of experience!

27 08 2013
Alastair

I have a 15 and 17 year old 😉

27 08 2013
Frankwell

Ah yes of course! When the teen years and angst commences, I’ll be knocking at your door for advice 😉

27 08 2013
Alastair

😀

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