That wheely annoys me…

30 10 2013

If you travel on the Underground during the rush hour like me, we probably share a common enemy.

You hear it before you see it.

By the time you see it, it’s often too late.

It kills three people every day.

What is it?

The trolley case.

Ok, so I lied about killing three people every day.

Chances are you will agree that most people who commute in London turn into Zombies.

Zombies in their own little world.

Zombies who don’t care about those around them.

Now arm those Zombies with a handbag or manbag sized trolley case during the rush hour.

You know the ones – bags that would traditionally would be carried in your hand or over your shoulder.

Lethal.

With a go-go-Gadget flick of a telescopic handle these Chihuahua sized containers obediently follow their walking dead masters.

Unfortunately, this Decepticon-type transformation usually takes place at the most inappropriate of times during their journey, which cause most of the problems:

  • Stepping off a train or tube and immediately pausing to extend the handle creating a commuter volcano behind them
  • Walk right up to the bottom of an escalator, pause to retract the handle, creating a commuter volcano behind them
  • Extend the handle again at the top of an escalator, but only having taken one step off the top, creating a commuter volcano behind them

Other issues:

  • Walking with their trolley case to one side as if it was a prized Crufts Chihuahua being shown off to those around in a crowded space
  • Suddenly pausing at the most inappropriate times as if to contemplate life, the universe and everything, oblivious to the pile up behind them
  • Trying to walk quickly with their pitiful case skipping from side to side like a car travelling to fast towing a caravan

Unless you are carrying a small amount of neutron star, what stops you from carrying it normally in crowded areas?

(By the way that’s very heavy in case you wondered.)

I’m sure some people need to use these ankle biting weapons – bad back, sore shoulders, no arm strength.

Just please bear in mind when you use them, the poor zombies around you.

Here endeth the moan.

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