You were the teacher…

27 01 2014

I wrote a blog on the art of photobombing.

You can check it out here.

Well, it was a proud day when I found out my little boy has already succeeded with his first photobomb.

He obviously a keen follower of my blog.

And here’s the evidence.

altAjl-f3n4qd7FEKlINB_Y-0EQwh7z9_1Yqf2auc6AGuuKGood lad.


21 01 2014

Before I caught the lurgy, I meant to publish a few of the comments following my Movember activity.

So here they are.

Make sure you take it easy on your motorbike on the way home… The roads are slippery…

There’s a bit of pork scratching in it mate.

You look hard, Paul. / Kind of The Sweeny hard.

Strong effort Paul.

Coach driver. Change your name to Trevor. / Serial killer coach driver? / Who at night likes to dress in leather gear circa Frankie goes to Hollywood.

Why. So. Serious.?

I’m thinking a bit lookie likey Rhys Ifans…?

Are you on the loo?

Chuck Norris.

That Sanchez is filthy!

Tonight, on Crime watch. A dangerous pervert is loose on the streets of London. Can you help us find him before he strikes again?

Are you a porn star Mellor?

Is there a hint of ginger in your furry caterpillar? / a HINT of ginger?? surely the question should be; is that a hint of grey i see in your ginger ‘tache? / Isn’t the official line: it’s not ginger it’s auburn!

oh hang on, maybe a borat wannabe? / oo no i got it, Jude Law from Sherlock holmes movie / na that was too nice!

Is that all you’ve got to show for 13 days I could grow more in one night.

Have you only just hit pubity or what mellor.

A bit of fun while it happened but I don’t think I’ll be doing it again.

Got caught out too many times with food in my moustache.

Crashing back down to Earth…

20 01 2014

One moment you’re on the crest of a wave.

You’re invincible.

Floating on Cloud 9.

Others around you seem to slot into a pattern of your making.

You are in control and things are going to plan.

And then you hear a grunt which can only mean one thing.

JJ has just created a new bath toy.

Think ‘Jaws’ theme tune.

Suddenly action stations are invoked.

All hell breaks loose.

The interaction of car ferry, starfish, pirate ship and fishing net needs to come to an abrupt end.

JJ develops superhuman strength whilst holding onto a bath crayon, half in and out of the water, and won’t let go.

The grunting is now becoming more ferocious.

We’ve got a code brown.

JJ’s grips loosens between grunts and I seize the opportunity to grab the crayon.

The toys are now safely back in the box.

Oh no!

There’s an octopus lurking under the bubbles getting danger close.

Fortunately Daddy’s reactions have been sharpened and like a Chameleon’s tongue, my arm shoots out in the nick of time.

JJ is lifted from his hillock and cleaned up.

And relax.

It’s rather humbling finding yourself mopping up poo from a bath.

“Bye-bye poo-poo,” calls JJ.

It certainly brings you crashing back down to Earth.

Reminds me of a scene from Caddyshack.

A little time off…

13 01 2014

You may have noticed I haven’t written a blog in a while.

I had a sick note.

I contracted Viral Meningitis at the start of December and have only just got back into the swing of things.

Bit of a shock to the system.

Especially as I thought it was just a bad cold.

Or manflu.

But it turned out to be a little bit more serious.

I spent a week in hospital while they diagnosed the type, pumping me full of drugs and stabbing me with needles every day.

I didn’t really eat much but what little I did, I really enjoyed.

Must have been ill.

I also acquired a strange addiction to Pringles prawn cocktail flavour.

Fortunately, between friends, family and of course my ever patient Wifey, I was looked after extremely well in and out of hospital.

Big thanks to everyone.

If you’d like to know more about meningitis, I can recommend this site

Anyway, on to brighter things.


I filmed this the other day after I taught him how to deal with cold callers.

He found it funny.

So did I.