Dreaming of a sprint finish…

2 06 2015

I mentioned in my previous post about Joshie making me smile while he sleeps.

This was taken a couple of nights ago.

I think he was dreaming of winning the 100m.

Usain Bolt

Usain Bolt

Joshua Mellor


Mr. Bolt, watch out.


You spin me right round baby, right round…

29 05 2015

One of my favourite times of the day is that little moment before I go to bed.

It’s an opportunity to sneak into JJ’s room, ensure he’s all ok and for a few moments watch something so peaceful and serene.

The little man never fails to remind me that no matter how tough things have been in the day, there are more important things in life.

It never fails to bring a smile to my face.

Especially when you walk into this…

God I love him.

Has that earworm taken effect?

B is for baby…

28 05 2015

Wifey is now 34 weeks.

Bunky is getting bigger and bigger.

That’s the name that JJ gave his baby brother.

I think it’s derived from pumpkin.

Perhaps Mummy’s tummy reminded him of one.

Who knows.

But as Wifey got up from the sofa last night like an un-oiled robot, her profile reminded me of something.

The letter B.

So in honour of the letter B, the late BB King and of course Wifey, here is a little video.




The 33 week old bottle of White Lightning…

21 05 2015

Wifey is now 33 weeks.

Not long to go.

A few people have commented on how good I am at remembering how far along Wifey is in the pregnancy.

But as with all things, there’s an app for that.

‘My pregnancy’ – provides lots of interesting insights.

In the latest description from the app it said:

Whereas before you could walk comfortably, now you may find yourself waddling.

I think Wifey started waddling a while back.

It’s obviously something that you cannot find funny.

But comparing a pregnant women to a duck?

Well that is kind of funny (behind closed doors and a million miles away from Wifey).

The app also tells you each week how big the baby is, comparing it to some random object.

At 33 weeks apparently he is the size of a pineapple.

One thing I never thought to do was get a bloke version of the app.

What do you think the bloke’s app compared my 33 week unborn child to?

Well unfortunately I did not want to pay $2.99 to find out, but this will probably give you a good indication of what to expect.


Perhaps our baby is the size of a bottle of White Lightning now.

Maybe he’ll mature into a bottle of Champagne by the time he pops out.

Bloomin’ marvellous…

27 04 2015

For our 5th anniversary I bought Abi a tree and had it planted in the grounds of Offley Place where we got married.

It was a Prunus ‘Blushing Bride’ (Shogetsu).

The idea is that we can come back each year to see how it’s grown along with Joshie.

We went to see how it was doing at the weekend, as it’s due to produce its signature cherry blossom.

The tree is very young so we were not sure what to expect.

As you will see from the photo below, it has started blooming.

And so has Wifey.



Oh bollocks…

7 04 2015


I found myself in Sainsbury’s on Good Friday.

JJ kept me company as we sought out food for the long weekend ahead.

He was a little angel.

At no point was he naughty.

At no point did he grab things from the shelves.

At no point did he shout out anything bad.

Mind you, at one point he was shouting “Uncle Paul” at me which he found hilarious.

With our trolley full we finally departed Sainsbury’s just at a point when JJ’s patience was wearing thin.

We got back to the car, I opened the boot and…


The boot contained a sand and water play thing that took up all the space.


Oh oh.

The little parrot sitting in the trolley had heard me.


“No Joshie I didn’t say that I said trolley.”


Without even knowing what the word meant, he’d already used it correctly.

Not sure why I said trolley as it sounds nothing like bollocks, but eventually it worked, after a few more rounds of “bollocks” and more laughter.

If I had turned up home with JJ shouting out bollocks, I don’t think I would have risen from the dead.

The incident reminded me of an ad for VW.

Note to self, must be more careful in future.

Ferocious kick to the head, but I’m ok…

2 04 2015

I knew it was coming.

I’d asked for it.

Typical me.

One of those “come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough” moments.

I was feeling brave and thought why not.

“So come on, kick me in the head if you can.”

And would you believe it, he did.

Cheeky so and so.

My unborn child has already started to abuse me.

But what a feeling.