The adventures of Swervy Swerverson…

21 06 2012

I love people watching.

It can be quite addictive.

We’ve all done it.

Harmless enough.

Right up until you’re caught by the police leaning out of a tree trying watching the neighbour having a shower.

Figuratively speaking of course.


I’m fascinated with one chap in particular right now.

He’s on my journey into work so I see him on a regular basis.

I won’t go into details, just to protect his anonymity.

But he does have a given name.

Swervy Swerverson.

Here’s his brief and not particularly interesting story.

When he gets off the train he walks straight to the wall of the station.

Within seconds, he’s walking along with his shoulder pretty much brushing up against the wall, only moving to avoid fixed obstacles.

This pattern carries on until he has to disconnect and make his way to the escalator.

Avoiding the queue, he sneaks up the left (where people walk up the escalator).

Then he makes a cheeky swerve to the right cutting anyone up thereby not having to wait with everyone else.

But then he’ll dart back to the left and walk up the escalator.

Once through the ticket barrier, he goes back to clinging to the left hand side walls pretty much for the rest of his journey.

(I haven’t followed him to work.)

Woe betide you if you get in his way when making this swerve to the wall.

You will be swerved.

I’ve been at the business end of a swerve.

He’s a small chap but has the stopping power of an oil tanker breaking for land.

I don’t think he has one leg shorter than the other.

I don’t think he’s drunk.

I don’t think he has some weird magnetic attraction within his body to walls.

It’s just unusual behaviour.

But there is one good thing.

He keeps to the left.

Unlike most of the inconsiderate zombies making their way to work.

“Outta my way, Swervy Swerverson coming through.”